As women rediscover primal, physiological birth, so too has the dad rediscovered his role in supporting her. Dads have a lot of fun figuring out what they are supposed to be ‘doing’ at the birth and often are surprised at how little there is to do! We don’t see a lot of dads ‘coaching’ women anymore. They simply are nearby, present, listening to her and helping to ‘hold the space’. There is this cultural assumption that he wants and needs to be there in the same room as the laboring woman. For some, that might be where they are most comfortable. For others, it is not the case. The same can be true for the woman as she labors..she may need him as her lifeline or she may need him holding the space in a different part of the house.
The dad’s role is to be present without fear and without the need to rescue her from the work she has to do. If he is calm, trusting of birth and confident, it makes the birth go so much more smoothly. If he brings a lot of his own fear into the space, or lack of trust in the process; the energy will hold up the progress of the birth. We ask each man to recognize the strength in his partner and her beauty as she labors. We don’t even want dads keeping track of contractions; it makes the experience too analytical. The iPhone apps? They have no place in primal birth! We ask them, “do you get out your pad and paper, or iPhone during sex?”; then don’t during labor; it’s the same intuitive process! It’s amazing what you can know just by listening to her sounds and watching how her personality changes.
This is where dads share their pearls of wisdom from their time spent at birth!